Passion with a Capitol “P”

Passion.  We all need and want it.  It gets us motivated to do great things or it can cut others to the core.  It all depends on how we use it.

I have often wondered why I was not more like some famous people who seem to have become experts at what they do.  They are passionate about a cause or an idea.  They drive themselves to the brink of exhaustion, forsaking all other pleasures just to get what or where they want in life.  In some ways I have admired them.  Their drive and determination, I have wanted it.  Sadly, some of these people are so “passionate” about what they want that they will do anything to achieve their desired end, causing their own destruction.  That I could do without.

I have often thought about this word, passion.  I am not a perfectionist, although I would love to have the things around me to be the way I would mentally like them to be.  Things like, the kitchen always being clean, delicious, healthy meals always cooked, my bed always made (when I’m not in it!), the floors free from pet hair and dirt tracked in by me or others.  I’d love to be so disciplined that I would never miss a day of working out, my hair would always look good and I’d never let things get me off schedule.  And oh yes, the garden would always look the healthiest, flowers would fill my yard and the deer would just know not to touch them.

Face to the sun

But, alas, I live in the real world.  I live in a day that is only 24 hours long just like everyone else, and I have to choose what is the most important.  One day it might be the garden, another day it might be getting pictures edited from a recent shoot and yet another sitting with my kids having coffee.   I am an 8 hour a night for sleep gal and fudging on that very often does not go well for me.  My family does not like cranky!

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me.  I had a big disappointment in something I was hoping to achieve and yesterday took me a few steps back.  I will take a breath and keep moving forward.  I have also had some other disappointments in people and attitudes and am sorry that they feel their opinions are the only ones that should be expressed.  I fear we will see much more of this with an election on our heels.   Yes, it was a bit of a discouraging day.

Reaching out

But, at the end of the day a box arrived for me.  I was not expecting anything in the mail and to my surprise it was from my son and daughter in law.  Well, truth be known, I know my daughter-in-law sent it but will give my son some of the credit.  How did they know it would be such a welcome surprise.

I am gone from home at the moment, spending my last week in Houston before I head back home for a few weeks.  In the box was a little “we miss you” surprise.  Some fall candy (just what my waist-line doesn’t need but my mouth loved!), a couple of candles to burn while I write, edit photos or just whenever I want, a card that made me laugh, and best of all pictures, pictures of my beautiful little granddaughter.  It was a wonderful surprise.

the best surprise

My family…… that is my passion.  No, I may never be the owner of a big company and I may never stand before a big audience and give a grand speech.  I may never publish a book or have an amazing photograph in a gallery.  But, hopefully, I will have children and grandchildren who will know that I loved them and that they were my passion.  That I will in some way give them a strength that they need, that words from me will come back to them that they will need to hear long after I am gone and that I will never feel the need to apologize for not being more of what the world would think was successful.  I want to be known for loving well, willing to sacrifice for those I love and filled with compassion for all.   By giving myself to others, a part of me will live long after I have left this earth. 

Now, it is time to go exercise.